Here I am once again sleepless in the middle of the night. Unanswered questions drive me nuts. I don't know why I'm divorced. Other than she wanted to divorce me. I got nothing I understood in our talks, or therapy sessions. Was I that bad? Was I that dysfunctional? My depression so awful? All of her aswers seemed yweak. Did she not want to hurt my feelings? Because divorce hurts less.
When I wake up in the middle of the night I can't seem to shut this part of my brain down. I lose enough sleep. Maybe no answer will ever be enough. Maybe there is no...no I don't believe there is no answer. I wonder if she would tell me now? I wonder if I'd except any answer? I'd like to try. Obviously I get that we don't have great control of our emotions. Maybe that is it. She fell for him and it was over. Didn't I at least deserve to hear that?
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